grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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