I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
