Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
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