So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
