ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
