oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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