I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
