he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize