I want to make a zoo with you.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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