ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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