Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize