So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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