Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He? As in you personified your dick?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
