i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
