He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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