Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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