ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It's like God shit irony all over that family
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
