every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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