In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
