We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
