One girl and one boy is just not enough.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
