No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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