I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
