Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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