So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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