If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
His nipple licking is glorious
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