it hurts more in the daytime
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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