Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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