remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
