i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
