i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
