She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize