I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My butt remains clenched, sir.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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