remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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