I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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