Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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