im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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