i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
