Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize