Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
