You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
