You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
