Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
