i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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