her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
