OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
