I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
