i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
