Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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