Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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