can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
