if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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