1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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