and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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