Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
