I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
