Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize