Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
