WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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