Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize