your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
