So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize