Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
