dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize