You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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