Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
