today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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