you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
