I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize